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Truth

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Truth.
I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart’s affections and the truth of imagination – what the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth – whether it existed before or not. Keats 

  
On the days when I’m able to step outside of myself, my home, my job and parenting, there is so much truth to be found.

Truth has been such a heavy topic in my life for the last six months. My truth. My family’s truth. My friends truths.  The truth of the Spirit. The truth of a four year old boy. I have always placed such a high value on truth, even a hard truth. And sometimes that is all there is.  But there is amazing freedom and vast beauty in accepting the truth. 

#100daysofsummer #henryothablake #truththinks100 #thethinks #VSCOcam

My Town

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Six years ago today, Blake and I arrived after 38 hours of driving. We had been dreaming of making the Pacific Northwest our home for the six years before. We had no place to live, no jobs, and no community. 

The next six years would be filled with seven jobs, new friends, family, old friends, two homes, a new church, endless adventures, hardships, and a son. I’m not sure I would have had the courage to leave had I known what was waiting for us on the other side. 

One thing that I know now is that my husband and I love each other through it all. We have been tested. We have seen each other’s worst and best in these thirteen years together. This town is growing he and I.  Let’s see what the next six years bring. 

Every Week

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When given this theme for today my mind was flooded with all the things I do every week and every day. It’s amazing how sometimes life can become just marking time by completing lists, tasks, and events. 

  
Mondays we do this. Tuesdays we do that. How do we make moments that matter? 

I was talking with a dear friend today about grabbing those moments when we can. I love how having a four year old can be an opportunity to have more of those.  This morning Henry was listening to one of his favorite records, the Little Blue Brontosaurus. When it ended he yelled out to me as I was cleaning, “It’s done! Time for a painting project!” I could’ve made excuses and redirected him, like I do so much of the time. Today though I wanted to be less about the everyday and every week and more in the right now.

Lifted.

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At noon today, I sat in the empty sanctuary of my church.  Where for fifteen weeks we gathered to study from first Peter. As we wrapped up today, I felt lifted. Somewhere along the way the Lord had unburdened me of some heavy baggage I had traveling with. Tonight I will set aside time for a prayer of gratefulness and I will never pick up those bags again. 

 

Spinning 

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Looking at the time, my thoughts are racing, and I am constantly wishing for more. There are not enough minutes in a day for me to do all that I should and definitely not all that I desire. When will I quit is the question, not when will I be finished. As I write this there are at least five other tasks half finished in front of me. I am chasing the clock. Round in circles I go.

  
The words to my husband’s song echo in my mind.

Feeling kind of low.

Grey and old thinking about it.

It’s obvious I’ll never know everything I ought to know.

My dizzy head.

Twirls and bends.

And just when I believe that I might figure it out.

It goes and just keeps on spinning. 

#100daysofsummer

#circlethethinks #thethinks

Valley of Achor

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It is hard to say when in my youth I decided that my ideas and plans were better than God’s. Somewhere along the way my brokenness, my families brokenness, and the brokenness all around me just seemed too much for God to bear. It was easier to push it aside. Years went by and I did what I wanted. But slowly I realized that it was me that could not bear the weight. That only Jesus could do that.Edit

I can look back now at the narrow path that wound me back to church. A friend, a coworker, a song, a book. All pointing. All moving me along. I was ready to walk through those doors but lacked the courage. I am so grateful for the challenges, joys, and community that happen when I pass through these doors. 

  
14 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,

and bring her into the wilderness,

and speak tenderly to her. 

15 And there I will give her her vineyards

and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.

And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,

as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

#redthethinks #100daysofsummer

100 Days of Summer 

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My beautiful artist friend, Han Stoney, started a little something called the 100 days of Summer a couple of years ago. Each day has a theme and from that theme you post a photo from that day. So here I am on the first day with my first photo.  First morning cup on the patio.

 

This beginning is bittersweet. Last summer’s 100 days were overshadowed an incomplete due to joy, morning sickness, and loss. I am determined for many reasons to stick to and complete these 100 days. They mark for me and my family a new path. This new adventure that we have begun doesn’t look like what we had imagined, but we are trusting God. We will put Him first. 

#100daysofsummer

#thethinks

#first

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Trust

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Trust. The word on my heart for this season of life. I had a beautiful time this weekend at the IF:Local gathering here in Portland. It awakened a part of me that has been dormant. So much has been on my heart in the last heavy months of 2014 and this gathering brought me healing in such a deep way.

2014 was a beautiful year that brought about much growth, but at the expense of much pain. I miscarried a child at 13 weeks in September. I have never had such heartbreak and such love at the same time. From the moment I knew I was losing our child, God gave me so much strength. I know this because I had none, I was empty and He filled me. Last fall and this winter have been a battle. Me, always wanting to control and God, always reminding me to trust.

At the beginning of the year, like most couples, B and I sat and talked about the last year and the new.  What do we want more of? Less of? We agreed on many changes that we needed to make and many dreams to see out this year.  We agreed to serve our friends, family, and church more.  For me this has meant diving head first into wonderful projects and studies. B is going to finish his album the first part of the year.  And H, he is just learning and growing every day.

Happy New Year Hiking.

Happy New Year Hiking.

Here we are on our way into this new year. I am letting go. God, I am letting go.

Family Fourth of July 2012

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Blake and I drove up to Everett, WA to be with the family for fourth of July last summer. It was a joy getting to relax with Mom and Dad and the Allens(all seven of them). We played in the yard, went to the beach, made ice cream, and even ventured into Seattle with the whole bunch.  The island in Mom and Dad’s kitchen is the hub for all life while we are there. The adults stand around it making a constant supply of snacks and meals(and drinking and eating), while the kids get to be kids and enjoy running in the grass or playing in the water.  Occasionally, Blake will break out the banjo and make them all laugh and dance. This time he even brought an old trumpet.  I love these moments and memories being made. ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage